For the last couple of weeks, I’ve been thinking of a topic beginning with ‘N’ for this month’s ‘A-Z’ of meditation and mindfulness and today of all days, (New Years Day) it dawned on me.
N is for New Year, New You and Self-Love!
Not that you have to wait for January the 1st to begin your new life, sometimes, psychologically it’s easier to begin on the first day of a new year, but you can do this whatever the time of year. You can also forget about making resolutions unless you are able to apply SMART objectives to it. Is what you’re asking for realistic and achievable in your given time frame?
In this article, I’m going to write about me and what I envisage at this moment in time. If any of this resonates with you, join me in my journey and do what I’m doing and see what results you get. If you’re close to Liverpool, don’t forget that I’m now a practising Reiki Master and provide treatments to help you with your journey. More information can be found on my Reiki in Liverpool page.
It’s About Me and Some Self-Love!
WOW! Just looking at that phrase and immediately I’m conflicted with thoughts of being selfish.
There’s immediately an uncomfortable feeling deep within and I’m wondering why I feel ashamed of putting myself first and giving me some self-love?
It’s down to the conditioning of others throughout my life time and not being in the present moment!
We are brought up in a society that expects us to put all others first, so that we can be good and decent human beings, but the reality of this, if you actually sit down and think about it is, how can you continue to put others first, if you don’t look after yourself, if you don’t have any self-love?
This is obviously one of the reasons why my anxiety got the better of me at one stage. I was living my life purely to please others, always conscious about what others thought of me and above all else, my aim in life was to be the very best that I can be for OTHERS and not me!
There was never any self-love!
Since I started mindfulness and meditation, things have improved massively, but I’m not out of the woods yet, because I’m talking about putting myself first, giving me some self-love, as the beginning of the ‘new me’.
Practising Mindfulness and Meditation
Practising mindfulness and meditation has made me realise that there’s nothing wrong with putting myself first and how the opposite was a major part of my life.
That’s the beauty and one of the major benefits of practising mindfulness in your everyday life, because it makes you see reality.
When I suffered anxiety, I was on auto-pilot feeling weak, fearful and battling for survival every day. I was also comparing myself to others, hence one of the reasons I’m barely on social media these days. I was hardly ever in the present moment!
Today, January the 1st has made me realise that I’ve been getting slowly stronger at putting myself first over the last 12-18 months and it’s today that I actually need to shrug off the negativity and commit fully to LOVING ME!
It’s time for some self-love and being positive!
Isn’t it amazing when you wake up to reality and you figure out how to live life again?
What Stops You Being Selfish?
Of course, I’ve thought about this as well and practising GRATITUDE helps you not to be selfish.
It helps you realise that the things you actually need in life are in abundance and freely available. Instead, you forget about these things and you don’t appreciate what you have in your life. Family, nature, friends etc..
Practising gratitude and mindfulness meditation will help you achieve your goals and dreams, because you will be focused on the present moment and what you do have in life.
Be in the Present Moment
I love to meditate at sunset on the coast. Being in the present moment in nature is something we should all experience and fully appreciate and it honestly provides me with lots of gratitude and self-love.
I love life when I feel the rush of cool air across my face as the sun disappears below the horizon. The image I use in this article and all other meditation and mindfulness articles is when I visited the coast at sunset and experienced the sun setting with two strangers, one of whom posed for my camera. I bet he didn’t realise what I would use it for, but neither did I at the time. I captured the memory and here it is.
Don’t be controlled by your emotions
Being in the present moment will allow you to stop and think about your actions or the actions of someone else towards you, allowing you to react accordingly.
Sometimes, when you’re worrying or fearful, your emotions take over. Who has finger punched the keyboard hard and aggressively when replying to someone and then later regretted it?
By putting yourself first and being aware of how we are controlled in this way allows you to put yourself first and do the right thing for yourself, friends and family.
Let me put this another way, when I get into a state of anxiety and yes, I still do, but like I said earlier, I now catch myself doing this and I’m able to pull myself out of it after a couple of hours, I must be one of the most horrible people to be with.
I’m irrational and my emotions are controlling me fully. I’m snappy and I can make incorrect judgements and mistakes. I know this is true as I have seen my mistakes, so how can putting myself first be selfish?
Within the last month, I was ordered to do something by someone.
Now, because I’m working on my meditation and mindfulness, at one time when I never put myself first, I would have said yes, to please him and suffer silently with the screaming inside, ‘why did you do that, why not just say no?‘ etc. Instead, I didn’t say anything to him as I listened to my gut instinct for once and walked away.
Trust your instinct!
People can ask me nicely to do things and provide me with an opportunity to gain an understanding, but I won’t allow myself to be dictated anymore.
This is the new me, this is the realisation of how practising meditation and mindfulness has got me to the stage today that with confidence, I can put myself first and start loving me, without any regret or shame as I know it’s the right thing to do.
Can you do it?