Too many times in our lives, we avoid feeling and facing our emotions and instead, we will create a drama out of a thought. This simple thought then expands with negative energy arising within and affects our thoughts and decision making for the rest of the day, sometimes with disastrous results.
To explain this, I’m going to use a personal example that I learned while studying for a diploma in mindfulness.
Think with the heart and not with the head
When you start practising mindfulness on a daily basis, you realise how your negative thinking controls your life. You also realise that years and probably a life time of negative thinking is not a habit that you’re going to break overnight.
To observe your initial thought and STOP the drama roundabout, is your very first step in moving forward to a more happy and love filled life.
Thinking with the head
Witnessing examples of nurturing mothers or listening to Mark when he tells me of holidays he went on as a child always got to me and I would come out with a negative remark, jokingly, that he was a spoilt child.
It’s kind of funny how I put, jokingly in there as I wasn’t joking. I’m trying to soften a negative response by saying that I was joking. Does it make it easier for me now as I write this?
No, but back then before I realised what I was doing, it did.
My ego had taken over me!
I’ll give you a flavour of what it was like in my head.
- I wish I had a mother like that
- Why wasn’t my mother like that?
- I don’t remember mother showing love to me
- I remember feeling very special when I held her hand when out shopping
- But then nothing
- I don’t remember being hugged
- I certainly don’t remember being tucked in at night
- I don’t remember happy times with her
- I remember rejection
- I remember her putting me in danger
- Why me?
- What did I do to deserve this?
- Look at what she’s done to me?
- Am I a good mother?
- I’m a terrible mother. Kerry must hate me!
I had hopped onto the drama roundabout, allowing my ego to take full control.
All of the above are negative thoughts and each one cascades with its own drama and intensity of negative energy.
Obviously, this type of thinking places me into a negative, self-hate frame of mind for the rest of the day. I’m charged with negative energy, making me feel sad and depressed, which of course isn’t going to make me productive or happy.
Observe the thought!
The worst thing is, without mindfulness, I would still be living the above routine each time I witnessed examples of nurturing mothers and come on, let’s face it, there are examples everywhere!
Thinking with the heart
Like I’ve said before, mindfulness is not a quick fix!
It’s a journey and something you need to practice daily for it to become easier. My journey never ends, but here on this website is the account of my journey so far and hopefully it inspires you to start practising mindfulness and meditation or take time out and pamper your mental health with Reiki.
Avoid the drama roundabout!
Mindfulness teaches you to observe your thoughts and to stop yourself when you realise you’re about to jump onto that DRAMA ROUNDABOUT!
That initial thought of ‘I wish I had a mother like that‘ stops there.
Instead I retreat inwards and I observe the thought for what it is. I tell myself that this is a feeling. This is what REJECTION feels like!
The trick is to attach no drama to this, but just BE, just acknowledge how rejection makes my body feel.
I realised that I get a feeling of something rushing in the centre of my forehead and my chest tightening in the middle.
The first time I did this exercise, I jumped onto a memory of experiencing this feeling before in another situation where I felt rejection that had nothing to do with mothers, but again, I had to acknowledge the thought for what it is, a feeling and be in the moment.
See, the object is to EXPERIENCE the feeling fully in your body.
Now, you might think that this is going to be disastrous and why would anyone want to experience this negativity deliberately?
By experiencing these feelings, you are facing them and not avoiding them by replacing the initial thought with another one and blowing it all out of proportion and in the process creating negative energy.
This negative energy by the way, stays in your body and causes shadows on our aura and prevents the flow of universal energy that affects our chakra health and well-being.
By observing this initial thought, you remain in the present moment rather than in a confused state of mind that affects the rest of your day, possibly life-time by leaving you to carry on with a peaceful and positive frame of mind filled with kindness and compassion.
Where has the kindness and compassion bit come from?
I can’t go back in time and change things. I can, however, stop myself from turning my own world upside down and being consumed with negative thinking and instead, improve my self-love and self-worth.