Inspired by the tarot of the day card being the 5 of Swords, I’ve wrote out my tips on how to move beyond the feeling of defeat and build yourself back up again with feelings of positivity, drive and motivation.
Your dreams haven’t changed, but your plans have!
It’s true and life is about how we deal with these set backs that most of the time we have no control over. We cannot change outside influences, but we can control how we react to them and knowing this is key.
Amend your action plan to incorporate any learning lessons you may have learned and BELIEVE that YOU ARE WORTHY of obtaining your goals. There’s a saying that comes to mind, ‘what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger‘.
Write a daily to do list and see yourself at the end of the day having completed it. More importantly, examine how completing your tasks will make you feel, because this is an important aspect of achieving your dreams. Like attracts like, therefore if you feel great, you will attract great things.
Let it go and instead, go with the flow
Stop trying to control everything around you while trying to achieve perfection, and simply go with the flow of life.
Like I said earlier, the only thing we can control in life is ourselves and how we react to situations. Trying to reach perfection by trying to prevent anything from going wrong, is a negative aspect of your personality that is more than likely driven by fear and will be a drain of your positive energy.
Learning to let go and go with the flow is a positive behaviour to adopt that will put you in a positive mindset to deal with any set backs that come your way.
To put this into perspective, my dreams have been halted with the onset of COVID-19. I quit my full time job prior to the pandemic so that I can follow my dreams of having my own premises to perform life mentoring, tarot readings and gemstone healing. If COVID-19 hadn’t hit, I’d have my own premises right now, but that’s been stopped and it’s beyond my control.
Rather than become defeated, I have my faith in the Universe and understand that this is either, not the right location or it’s not the right time to be taking on the responsibility of premises. With my SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, Timescale), action plan, I’m in control and more importantly, I remain positive.
Having a SMART action plan will help you manage set backs with a positive attitude. To read more about this, read my post The Emperor and Manifestation.
Don’t focus on what has defeated you, instead, focus on your achievements
It’s too easy to focus on the negative feelings we get when defeat hits us hard. Feelings of lack and sometimes shame cloud our judgement and we begin to demotivate ourselves. Momentum builds the longer we stay in this feeling of negativity, so it’s essential that we focus on what we have achieved so far and our personal successes gained.
Grab yourself a pen and some paper and write down the emotions you felt when you achieved a personal goal. How did this achievement make you feel, what did you personally gain from it? These are the feelings and emotions you are going to experience again. FEEL them and be inspired!
If you have adopted a SMART action plan, it’s time to review it and make changes. Adopting such a plan also helps you to feel your successes, feelings of accomplishment and joy when marking it as completed.
Adopt a self-care attitude and daily practice
Self-care is important if you want to succeed. If YOU don’t nurture and look after your mind, body and soul, who will?
If you put your self-care in the hands of others, what happens when they are no longer around?
Adopt a daily self-care routine that incorporates time out for you to enjoy something that you love to do and makes you feel great.
This could be something like being creative, singing along to your favourite songs, exercising, meditating, coffee with friends, a healthy lunch or a mindful walk. The list is endless and it’s no good me or someone else telling you what to do. Ask yourself, ‘what makes me feel good?’, and go and do it at the same time, every day.
By adopting your own self-care routine, you will give your mind a break. It’s time to pamper your mind, body and soul with your very own spa treatment to build your self-love and inner worth.
Practicing gratitude to help you feel worthy
If you know me well enough by now, you would have heard me already talking about the benefits of practicing gratitude on a daily basis and I highly recommend you incorporating it into your self-care daily routine.
Practicing gratitude isn’t just a hippy lifestyle thing, it’s so much more than that and understanding the benefits of what you will gain is enough of an incentive to start.
I do mine first thing in the morning while drinking my coffee as it sets me up for the day, but you may decide to do yours in the evening. It’s up to you how you do it as it has to feel right.
I write about everything that made me feel positive or put a smile on my face from the previous 24hours that I’m grateful for. I also add how it made me feel, because don’t forget, when manifesting your desires, like attracts like. If you feel positive, you will attract positivity. For example, my gratitude journal includes examples like…
- I was feeling a bit down yesterday and I didn’t know why. Out of the blue my granddaughter rang me and it put a huge smile on my face that I’m grateful for. She made me feel uplifted
- What a lovely gesture for Babs to drop off some shopping for us that was unexpected. This made me feel supported and loved and I’m grateful to have her in my life
- The rays of sunlight on the house opposite looked beautiful as I took time out to admire it. It reminded me how grateful I am for the warmth of the sun and its creative beauty.
Hopefully you catch my drift. Maintaining this on a daily basis will help you to remain positive while keeping your faith in the Universe and humanity. It will also help you to keep ‘vibing‘ high as you realise the strange things that happened out of the blue that will help you achieve your dreams. This aspect in itself will help you to go with the flow rather than try and control every eventuality.
Pick yourself up and dust yourself off
Kick start your day with revitalising your body and mind with a soothing shower or bath. Ensure that’s full of invigorating scents and appropriate mood lighting.
To do this successfully, immerse yourself fully in the present moment by using your senses of touch, sight, smell and sound. Feel the hot water cleansing your body and washing away any negativity energies such as doubt or fear, down the drain to the back of beyond where it cannot resurface. Smell the luxurious scents from your body wash and shampoo and empower your self-worth. See the steam rise as it evaporates away negative energies and listen to the sound of water as it purifies your mind.
It’s time for some inspiration
If negativity surrounds you, remove your presence from it. Change your environment and don’t get involved in judgement or gossip as these are negative behaviours that lower your vibe.
Inspire yourself with those people who have achieved what you want to achieve. Imagine yourself stepping into their shoes and feeling what it’s like to be them and to live your dream. Remember that you attract what you feel. Read an auto-biography of theirs and read about their work on the Internet.
If you’re finding social media or the daily news is becoming too upsetting, it’s time to stop being affected by it. It’s all about balance as we do need to know what’s happing in the world, but you can limit your time spent being influenced by it.
Stop procrastinating and do it!
If you find that you put off what needs to be done, you need to challenge yourself to find out what’s really stopping you. A good example to use here is doing the scroll of doom before starting that task that needs to be done.
The scroll of doom is my phrase for scrolling through the latest social media news feed instead of getting on with it.
We usually procrastinate when we allow our fears and insecurities to surface, but instead, we need to face them.
Is it a lack of self belief that stops you from achieving your dreams?
It’s time to examine your self-beliefs and challenge those that are negative. How and why do you hold onto them and what do you get out of sustaining them? A good example here that I once held and firmly believed to be true, is that smoking will help me keep the weight off, therefore I don’t need to give up smoking just yet. It’s negative as I could replace exercise with smoking and in case you’re wondering, I’ve not smoked now for just over two years.
This task alone takes time and a lot of soul searching, especially when we’re being honest with ourselves. This is what a lot of us refer to as ‘shadow work’.
Have yourself an affirmation!
Focus on your objectives with a crystal and a powerful affirmation.
Having an affirmation and an object such as a crystal to focus on is a powerful tool to inspire you on a daily basis. It will help you to achieve your dreams and not let defeat overpower you. I must state though now that thinking and writing out your affirmation is a task that you need to invest your time in.
An affirmation is a true statement that reflects how you feel about something. For example, a previous affirmation of mine was, ‘I have an abundance of faith in the Universe‘!
I wrote this when I needed to believe and feel that this statement was true. I would then repeat it to myself every day without fail as I placed it on my monitor where I would see it and read it.
Having this affirmation has helped me to remain positive and go with the flow of life. As you have already read earlier in this article, my faith in the universe helped me to not be overcome with defeat due to not being able to have my own premises.
Instead, I firmly believe that everything will work out for the best as the work that I do is for the highest good of not only me, but everyone who I cross paths with.
At one time, I didn’t believe that the Universe had my back, at one time, I would have just given up on having my own premises, at one time, I would have been lost in unhappiness.
As for crystals, I choose my favourite one by using my intuition and sitting with it for a while. I imagine projecting my affirmation and dreams deep into the crystal for it to help me. I then have this crystal with me for most of the time and I hold it for a reminder of how far I’ve come and what I can achieve.
I hope that this helps you with overcoming the feelings of defeat. I know that it’s not easy to change negative thinking habits, but trust in yourself that with time and effort, you can do this! If you would like personal mentoring, please get in touch.
The tarot of the day and associated crystal is chosen on the Gemstone and Tarot Facebook page on a daily basis.